...don�t try to figure out my experience � there�s no method to my madness...
THE INVITATIONOriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
It doesn�t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart�s longing.
It doesn�t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool For love For your dream For the adventure of being alive.
It doesn�t interest me what planets are squaring Your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center Of your own sorrow If you have been opened by life�s betrayals Or have become shriveled and closed From fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain Mine or your own Without moving to hide it Or fade it Or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy Mine or your own If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you To the tips of your fingers and toes Without cautioning us To be careful To be realistic To remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn�t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another To be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal And not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless And therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty Even when it is not pretty every day.. And if you can source your own life From its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure Yours and mine And still stand on the edge of the lake And shout to the silver of the full moon, �Yes.�
It doesn�t interest me to know where you live Or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night Of grief and despair Weary and bruised to the bone To do what needs to be done To feed the children.
It doesn�t interest me who you know Or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand In the center of the fire with me And not shrink back.
It doesn�t interest me where or what or with whom You have studied. I want to know what sustains you From the inside When all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself And if you truly like the company you keep In the empty moments.
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"Requiem" - 2005-10-17, 7:23 p.m. Dear Daddy: I didn�t think I would have to write this letter for years�I mean, I hoped that I wouldn�t have to write this letter for years� but unfortunately it�s come to this. There�s so much that I want to say but I can�t find the words right now; I�m choked up because I always expected you to be here. I expected you to be here to share all of the things that we missed together in my youth. I expected you to be here to share in the birth of my child and be a positive role model to your grandchild. But I guess God had other plans. Now that you�re gone, I feel this emptiness that can�t be filled. Even at 25, I feel like an orphan. I miss you. I remember the last conversation we had when we were talking about the baby and you coming for my ultrasound. Richard and I were planning for that. I was excited that you were going to be there when we found out what kind of little life Richard and I are bringing into the world. Now, those plans are forever erased. Everything is so crazy and I have no idea what my heart is supposed to feel. Part of me feels angry because you had to go away so soon. Part of me is hurt because we were finally on the road to having the relationship that I�ve wanted with you all of my life. Most of me is just sad. Sad that just when you got your life to the point where you were doing so many things to make people proud of you and for you to be proud of yourself, your heart gave out and you had to pass away. I wish I could convey how proud it made me feel to hear all of the positive things that people had to say about you at your memorial service. So many people cared about you � probably people who you didn�t even realize cared as much as they did. The church ran out of programs � I mostly cried. It turns out that what you always wanted to happen occurred at your death � all of the cousins are together, mourning your passing and hoping that your brother doesn�t follow the same path in the coming weeks. Everyone gathered together in fellowship, and family member that hadn�t seen each other in years vowed to never lose contact in the way that they have over the years. People that I thought hated me, embraced me as we all mourned your departure from this Earth. It makes my heart hurt that you couldn�t hear those things face-to-face, but I know you heard them in spirit. How so many people thought so highly of you � how so many people watched you improve your life and celebrated that accomplishment. Before I start crying again, I just want to say thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for all of the things that you taught me, both on purpose and inadvertently. Thank you for being my father. There isn�t a day that goes by that I don�t miss momma, and now I get to share that with you. I will miss you both every day for the rest of my life. I just hope that I can instill all of the important lessons that you both taught me into my own child. I love you Daddy. Rest in Peace. Nikia In Memory of Thomas -Blessings
In memory - 2006-09-06 all content copyright its-a-newday 2005 |
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