THE INVITATION

Oriah Mountain Dreamer,

Indian Elder

It doesn�t interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for

And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart�s longing.

It doesn�t interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool

For love

For your dream

For the adventure of being alive.

It doesn�t interest me what planets are squaring

Your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center

Of your own sorrow

If you have been opened by life�s betrayals

Or have become shriveled and closed

From fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain

Mine or your own

Without moving to hide it

Or fade it

Or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy

Mine or your own

If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you

To the tips of your fingers and toes

Without cautioning us

To be careful

To be realistic

To remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn�t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another

To be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal

And not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

And therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

Even when it is not pretty every day..

And if you can source your own life

From its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure

Yours and mine

And still stand on the edge of the lake

And shout to the silver of the full moon,

�Yes.�

It doesn�t interest me to know where you live

Or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after a night

Of grief and despair

Weary and bruised to the bone

To do what needs to be done

To feed the children.

It doesn�t interest me who you know

Or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand

In the center of the fire with me

And not shrink back.

It doesn�t interest me where or what or with whom

You have studied.

I want to know what sustains you

From the inside

When all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself

And if you truly like the company you keep

In the empty moments.

"Decisions (Part 2)" - 2005-03-17, 3:58 p.m.

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(continued from the last entry)

4) Keep focused on the things you want to attain versus the situation you're in. Instead of thinking "Damn, you're in a call center." think "I'm _ months away from being debt free."

5) Pray. Pray for stress management and peace and a way to see the end of struggle. Pray, pray, pray. And go to yoga, yoga, yoga.

The whole history of progress of human liberty shows that all concessions yet made to her august claims have been born of earnest struggle. If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men [and women] who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its waters. This struggle may be a moral one; Or it may be a physical one; Or it may be both moral and physical; But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did, and it never will. Find out just what any people Will quietly submit to And you have found the exact measure Of injustice and wrong Which will be imposed upon them, And these will continue till they are resisted. . . The limits . . . are prescribed By the endurance of those whom. . [are] oppress[ed]. Men [and Women] may not get all they pay for in this world, but they pay for all they get. If we ever get free from the oppressions and wrong heaped on us, we must pay for their removal. We must do this by labor, by suffering, by sacrifice, and if needs be by our lives and the lives of others.

Frederick Douglas � No Struggle, No Progress

You would think that from what I'm saying that I have already made my decision, but honestly I haven't. I have an apartment on this side of the water and the position is located through the tunnel. Taking the job would mean that the majority of my time would be spent at my grandmother's house. Now don't get me wrong: I love my grandmother. But sometimes living with her drives me crazy. No, not sometimes. LIVING WITH HER DRIVES ME CRAZY. I'm not giving up my apartment regardless. But I would have to give up my second job. The money that I'd make in this position would MORE than compensate for my second job, but I actually like the people that I work with at that job. Retail is challenging and it gives me a chance to not think about my problems and focus on customer attention. Either way, the decision will be quite interesting. If I ride out my lease at my current apartment, then I'll just relocate to the Peninsula once the lease expires in October. I mean, that is if everything goes through the way that it should. Admittedly, I am a little cocky about this job. I'm overqualified and someone would have to be blind, deaf, dumb and stupid to not hire me. But at least it's not something that I am solely depending on. At least I'm working now... At least...

So at the current moment I'm concentrating on maintaining. It's rough because finances are so tight, but I'm praying for a miracle. I'm praying for something to happen so that I don't have to work myself to death. I'm better than I was,... but nowhere near where I feel I should be.

I need a v-8.

- Blessings

-Blessings

<< then << // >> now >>

In memory - 2006-09-06
Okay,... so I'm a little pissed off. - 2006-07-04
Miracles Happen - 2006-04-23
With exceedingly great joy..... - 2006-02-27
I just had to share.... - 2006-02-20

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