...don�t try to figure out my experience � there�s no method to my madness...
THE INVITATIONOriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
It doesn�t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart�s longing.
It doesn�t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool For love For your dream For the adventure of being alive.
It doesn�t interest me what planets are squaring Your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center Of your own sorrow If you have been opened by life�s betrayals Or have become shriveled and closed From fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain Mine or your own Without moving to hide it Or fade it Or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy Mine or your own If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you To the tips of your fingers and toes Without cautioning us To be careful To be realistic To remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn�t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another To be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal And not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless And therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty Even when it is not pretty every day.. And if you can source your own life From its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure Yours and mine And still stand on the edge of the lake And shout to the silver of the full moon, �Yes.�
It doesn�t interest me to know where you live Or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night Of grief and despair Weary and bruised to the bone To do what needs to be done To feed the children.
It doesn�t interest me who you know Or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand In the center of the fire with me And not shrink back.
It doesn�t interest me where or what or with whom You have studied. I want to know what sustains you From the inside When all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself And if you truly like the company you keep In the empty moments.
|
|
"Braces... and bullets" - 2005-03-28, 3:29 p.m. Braces at 25... I'm sitting here at my desk enduring the pain of the spacers that the dentist put in my mouth this morning, and it feels like someone shoved large pieces of food in between my upper and lower molars. It's crazy. I've been pushing this off for 10 years and it's finally time to go into these metal things - I'm not excited. I did get some good news while I was there though. The dentist told me that instead of the anticipated 24 month treatment, I get to come out of these suckers in 18 months. That's at least one dose of good news. I'm just hopeful that the pain will go away eventually and then this 18-month period of juvenile aestheticism will go away as fast as it got here. They put my brackets and wires on my teeth on Friday, and then I'm going to Philadelphia for the weekend. It should be a good weekend all around. I just worry that I won't be that much fun to be around. Everyone that I've talked to has told me to stock up on the Tylenol and soup for the first week of "Brace Hell." I've always had the Tylenol (and a couple of pain killers left over from my car accident), so I should be okay in that aspect. I'm not too interested in driving long distances loaded up on pain killers. I'm going to try to stick to the Tylenol. =) Pain (any pain--emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: "We would be more alive if we did more of this," and, "Life would be more lovely if we did less of that." Once we get the pain's message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away. I spent the majority of the weekend camped in front of the TV watching NCAA Basketball. Tournament time is crazy! This year's tournament has had some of the best basketball games that I've seen in a while - every game except one went into overtime, so it made for some exciting watching. A friend of mine and I decided to go to my apartment during the UK-Michigan State game, thinking it wasn't going to be all that interesting and I would have time to go get something from my place to bring back to my grandmother's house. As we were driving back, I got a phone call from a really good friend of mine from TX who was like "Are you watching the game?!?!?!" When he started telling me what was going on, all of a sudden my transit back to my grandma's house went from snail like to WARP SPEED. We were hauling ass! I got back to the house just in time to see UK get beat by Michigan State and my hopes for a UK-Louisville Championship go out of the window. Oh well! That's the nature of the beast! That loss motivated me to get off of my behind and go salsa dancing. I thought I could end a disappointing basketball game with some fun out with the girls. Boy was that interesting! I got in my car to go to the club and got a call from one of my friends telling me she was going to head up there too, so I was pretty happy. I knew I would see a group of familiar faces, so it was all good. Once I got into the club, I saw my girl Nina. She had been away from the scene for a good year - as we talked she informed me that she had moved to Richmond and goes to DC a lot to dance. We talked about so many things - including her NEW BRACES, which she told me hurt like hell the first week and a half, but after that aren't too bad. Well, after that everyone started pouring in the club and our little group of two transformed into a group of 8 or so. As girls always do, we all got into a circle and started flossing our new salsa steps, then branched out with some of the cuties that were in the club. I spent most of the night dancing with one of my guy friends and this other guy who was just learning how to merengue. He told me that he wasn't going to get on the dance floor at first, but I pressured him into it. I gave him the stupid look and we laughed like crazy until some more of my friends showed up and we went our separate ways. This is where the story gets interesting: it was coming towards the end of the night and I was ready to go - I let something really stupid get under my skin (that I let go of, of course before I even got out of the parking lot) and that persuaded me to go home. I was walking around the club saying goodnight to my people and as I came around to the doors, a fight broke out. People were falling over; a guy got hit in the head with a beer bottle, one guy was on crutches and someone took his crutch to fight... it was STUPID!!! The bouncers pushed all of the fighters out of the club and made people stop dancing until old boy got his crutch back. Then the unexpected happened. The guys who continued to fight in the parking lot - shots rang out and one guy got hit. As I was leaving the club, the guy who got hit with the beer bottle was bleeding on the other side of the door. One of my girls who is a coreman in the Navy was holding his head trying to stop the bleeding, but it wasn't working so I got on my cellphone and called 911, waited until the cops showed up and then HAULED ASS out of there. I didn't hear the gunshots over everyone yelling and the loud music, but I saw that guy all banged up outside and decided that I didn't need to be ANYWHERE in the vicinity when the news crews showed up (which was confirmed that they did when I walked into work this afternoon). When I got to my desk and made my round of hellos, one of my co-workers was like "I thought about you when I heard about the shooting last night at Knickerbocker's. I hope you weren't there." I told her that I was, but I didn't know that anyone got shot, just the guy with the beer bottle. And that was that.
I think it's so stupid when people start fighting at nightclubs. It's such a waste. People want to go out and dance; to have a good time and not have to worry about stupid stuff, and then things like this happen. I stopped going to a lot of urban clubs in this area because people are hard-headed and like to cause drama (especially at "the Alley"). But no0w, the Latin clubs are getting just as stupid as the hip-hop clubs and it leaves me in a dilemma. I'm sure that now there will be a whole bunch of bullshit about whether Knickerbocker's should stay open because of this latest incident. People will raise a whole bunch of hell for a little while and then things will go back to normal. It's just such a waste. It leaves people fearful and apprehensive about spending time at these places. And more than anything, it just pisses me off. So between my spacers and this mess at Knick's last night, it's been an eventful couple of days. It's all good though. I'm still alive and able to feel the pain of these spacers. =) -Blessings. -Blessings
In memory - 2006-09-06 all content copyright its-a-newday 2005 |
| Navigate Extras |
|
