...don�t try to figure out my experience � there�s no method to my madness...
THE INVITATIONOriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder
It doesn�t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart�s longing.
It doesn�t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool For love For your dream For the adventure of being alive.
It doesn�t interest me what planets are squaring Your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center Of your own sorrow If you have been opened by life�s betrayals Or have become shriveled and closed From fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain Mine or your own Without moving to hide it Or fade it Or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy Mine or your own If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you To the tips of your fingers and toes Without cautioning us To be careful To be realistic To remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn�t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another To be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal And not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless And therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty Even when it is not pretty every day.. And if you can source your own life From its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure Yours and mine And still stand on the edge of the lake And shout to the silver of the full moon, �Yes.�
It doesn�t interest me to know where you live Or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night Of grief and despair Weary and bruised to the bone To do what needs to be done To feed the children.
It doesn�t interest me who you know Or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand In the center of the fire with me And not shrink back.
It doesn�t interest me where or what or with whom You have studied. I want to know what sustains you From the inside When all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself And if you truly like the company you keep In the empty moments.
|
|
"Throwback" - 2006-02-18, 10:07 p.m. It�s very rare that I get into conversations with my ex-husband. We divorced about three years ago and have different lives now. Every now and then, we�ll see each other online and chat for a couple of minutes, kind of catching up on what�s been going on in our worlds and all of that. Today was one of those days, but the conversation was a lot longer than it normally is. We talked about a lot of things � the past, the present and the future. He knows that I�m pregnant and remarried, and that for what it�s worth, my life is exactly the way that I want it to be. But there are still so many things that we�ve never said to each other that should be said. Things that I know are unresolved in my mind that subconsciously affects me even today. (See entry entitled �Kevin� in the archives) Let me explain: My ex-father in law and I never really got along. I know that we as people try to say that it wasn�t our faults, but I can�t think of anything that I ever did to this man that would make him not like me. I mean, I was always respectful. I always tried to show him that I always had his son�s best interests at heart � from the times where I would drive 45 minutes to come see him to when I let him take my car (now this was BEFORE we got married) so he could get back and forth to work. Well, in the conversation that Kevin and I had today, this was said: A throwback � that�s an interesting way to describe someone. I mean, I think of women like my mother and my grandmother, who are part of those generations of �throwback� women. And I don�t think of that as negative, even though in my mind that�s what I think his father was trying to imply. When I think of women from past generations, I think of strength� and empowerment� and strong family values�. and respect. I think of women who ran their households and sustained strong marriages. I think of women who could take care of their children, keep the house clean, manage the bills and still have dinner on the table by 5. I think of �throwback� women as women that hopefully one day I can try to emulate in my own demeanor � women whose same values in a way come through in my personality when it comes towards family and keeping my home safe. Now, I�ll admit that I�m NOT a conservative woman. When I asked my husband what he thought about the comment his response was �Well, put it this way � Will this house ever be 100% patriarchal � FUCK NO!� I thought that was funny! But stories of some of our first dates came up. How I still believed in chivalry (and still do!). How surprised he was that I knew how to cook and had no problem making meals. I remember Richard telling me how one of the things he most admired about me was my independence and my determination to be able to take care of myself. I can even think to times recently where my whole focus has been to handle my pregnancy and the first moments of our child�s life traditionally and surrounded by family. Throwback � that�s SUCH an interesting way to put it! I�ll admit that some of my thought processes are definitely �old school.� I wouldn�t use that term to describe me, though. I think that if there was a truer combination of mixing the old with the new, then I would probably be it. I want to stay married and have a marriage like my grandparents, but I want to work TOGETHER with my husband to sustain our home instead of submitting to his rules. I WANT to work outside of the home, but I also want to nurture my children and make sure they know those home-grown values that you can only get from a parent who is TRULY interested in their children, and will sacrifice working outside of the home in order for them to have that. I bask in the beauty of being an independent woman, but being a good wife and a nurturing mother is more important to me than anything on Earth. I don�t have to burn my bra on the courthouse lawn � I�ll do it while cooking dinner for my husband and my kids on my gas or electric stove. :) So do I take being called �throwback� as an insult � no, actually I don�t. More fathers should want their sons to have �throwback� women. But, then I ask if men today had �throwback� values, we wouldn�t be having this discussion, would we? -Blessings
In memory - 2006-09-06 all content copyright its-a-newday 2005 |
| Navigate Extras |
|
